Monday, October 8, 2007

Free to Dance GRACE

Free to dance
my dance.
He extends His hand to me.
Will I take it inspite of my fear?
He longs to lead me in the dance of life.
Will I let Him lead inspite of my insecurity?
He whispers cease striving and know I am God.
Will I cease to strive?
Inspite of all my fears, insecurities, and striving
I let go
I take His hand
I let Him lead
I cease striving.
He looks into my eyes
holds my gaze
and my heart melts.
I relax
I breathe
I enjoy
I am free
I dance!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

The Tree of Life

I am the Tree of Life. I stand in the middle of the Garden, where the "rivers of the water of life run." (Rev. 22:1)

I am the Tree of Life. I was not the tallest of trees, nor the leafiest and there was noting attractive about me. In fact I was just "a tender shoot and like a root out of dry ground." (Isaiah 53:2)

I am the Tree of Life. The only fruit I had to offer was the fruit of love & joy, peace & patience, kindness & goodness, faithfulness & gentleness, and self-control. Often I am passed by without even a second look or thought.

I am the Tree of Life. I saw it coming the fall and with the fall curses and death.

I am the Tree of Life. So, I waited and watched and began to grow and deepen my roots. Seasons came and went. Sometimes I got excited cause great Kings would rule, but they too would fall.

I am the Tree of Life. Finally, the day came and I could hear them off in the distance and I knew they were coming for me.

I am the Tree of Life. They stripped me of my bark and leaves. They cut my limbs, they busied my fruit and I stood tall with my roots deeply grounded.

I am the Tree of Life. When they were done I stood there. Sap poured out everywhere covering the ground. I stood there and for a moment darkness covered the earth and the ground shook and I knew, It is finished.

I am the Tree of Life. Anyone who hungers and will come after me will have life eternal.

I am the Tree of Life. I stand on the banks of the river of life where the water flows crystal clear. I now produce twelve kinds of fruit ripe each month. My leaves are for the healing of the nations. Never again will anything be cursed. (Rev. 22:1-2)

This is my first creative writing for a class I am taking called the God Story. We had to read Genesis 1-3 and pick a character and write from their perspective.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Missed It!!

Matthew 6:41-42
"If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you."

I often ask God to show me those in need. I ask Him for eyes to see. I ask Him to show me Isaiah 58 here in the states. Daily I ask these things!!

Well the other night I passed a homeless man who I said hi to and he asked me for "one dollar." I opened my wallet and all i had was a five. I told him I was sorry that I did not have "one dollar" and walked off.

Early the next morning I woke up thinking about what had happened. I was reminded of the above scripture and was convicted. Why didn't I give him the five? All I could do was admit I missed it and ask forgiveness.

Hopefully I will not miss the opportunity to give more than is asked of me from a stranger or a friend, whether out of abundance or out of need!!

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

SEASONS - endings lead to new beginnings

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 tell us, "There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven:...

Summer of 2003 while on mission trip to Mexico I was handing out tickets in Elsol, Mexico and God opened my eyes to a simple life style and called me to follow Him.

After much prayer and final confirmation from my sister, who i might add left me hanging after several conservations, I decided to end my 9 year teaching career and leave family & friends to follow Christ.

Fall of 2004 I found myself New Haven, CT attending a YWAM School of Christ DTS.
YWAM calls a DTS disciple training school. It did not take me long to figure out it was actually a Dying To Self school!!

During that school I encountered Christ in a way I had never encountered Him. I began to want to know His ways and not just His acts. There is a big difference. Think about it.

The first week I had to be transparent about my life and stuff from my past that I had not shared with many people in a room full of strangers. It was the only way for Him to heal all the "junk in my trunk" from my past. Some of those strangers in the room that day have become close friends and have journeyed with me faithfully the past three years. They know all about me, "all my deep dark secrets," and have not judged me only loved me. Thanks friends!

The first few weeks I felt as though God had literally ripped my heart out and was showing me wounds and scars. Not all the hurts had healed correctly and so He had to open up some wounds that I had closed. It was painful, but freeing. I begin to trust Him and certain people who would not let me "run away"!

I heard Him tell me one day, "It is finished." Jesus says this in John 19:30 right before He gives up His Spirit. It was a freeing day to realize all the sin, hurt, and disappointment from my past,
present, and future was finished that day on the cross. Talk about defining moment in my life.

It was a time of encountering Christ and in encountering Him seeing myself and in seeing myself
learning to die to myself and in dying to myself learning to live.

It was a time of tearing down all the walls I had built around my heart and having them torn down one by one by God and the people I was in the school with.

It was a time of letting go of unhealthy relationships and discovering healthy relationships.

It was a time that I began to "WAR" for family and friends in a little room in the back. God called me to intercession. It was there I realized my heart burned for the twenty-something generation and to see them encounter Christ.

It was also the beginning of a long awaited journey Home to a Father who has been waiting patiently for His beloved, pure, beautiful, joyful, laughing, delightful daughter Kathryn Janice Richard. I am being led Home by His Son and in being led by Him learning to accept His love.

January of 2005 found me on a plane to India, which would become my home for the next five months. It would also be an extended DTS in the mask of "outreach" and PCYM (principle of child and youth ministry). Let me remind you I taught school for nine years and worked with youth and young adults at my church. I was not there for the curriculum.

At times if felt I was in the "belly of the whale", but it was just the smells of India and some major stinky character traits God wanted to strip me of.

The first was Him showing me that for a while before my DTS I had been like "pissed off" Martha in the kitchen. I realized I had invited Him into my home (heart) only to get distracted by all the things that needed to get done on my to do list for Him and was mad and judging the ones who chosen Him and hanging out when all this "stuff" needed to get done. What a life changing revelation. I asked for His forgiveness and decided that day and every day since to be like Mary and sit at His feet, knowing those times can never be taken from me. It is written in my bible and dated.

I also learned that for most of my life i had learned to survive and not live. John 10:10 Jesus says, "...I have come that they might have life, and have it to the full." This was after having the longest conservation I had had with my sister in a few months. I was deeply convicted and ask Jesus to forgive me for not living. He had come so that i might live. He had lived so that I might live. He had suffered so I might live. He had died that I might live. I was so sorry for all the times I had dishonored Him by not living. I decided to embrace each day and live each day.

I learned the simplicity of God's call and it is not to "save" people, only He can do that. It is simply to love them. I learned this from a little boy I met in Calcutta, India. His name is Chiddee. I saw him sitting near our stuff and went and sat by him and he crawled into my lap. I reached down to touch His cheek and he slapped my hand. Then opened his mouth and showed me his rotting teeth. I thought to myself why God as I sat there and then I thought what do we do about it. He said, "You are doing it. Just hold him and love him that is all I ask you to do." That is easy I thought. My new little friend stole my heart as did a lot of the kids and people I met during my time there.

I got to attend a prayer service the Sisters of Charity attend daily at the place where Mother Teresa lived and worked. I also got to talk with one of the Sisters and it was AMAZING!! I began to wonder what a life devoted to Christ truly looked like.

June of 2005 I was back home and could breathe again Spiritually. I was also experiencing a bit of culture shock. It was during that time that I discovered what a life devoted to Christ truly looked liked. Thanks to my friend Martin who God used to help get me through PCYM in Calcutta. Martin turned me on to Oswald Chambers My Utmost for His Highest and as soon as I got home I bought his book. It is a daily devotion. June 19 O.C. says, " many people are devoted to causes and so few are devoted to Jesus Christ. If I am devoted to the cause of humanity only, I will soon be exhausted and come to the place where my love will falter; but if I love Jesus Christ personally and passionately, I can serve humanity though men treat me as a door-mat. The secret of a disciple's life is devotion to Jesus Christ, and the characteristic of the life is its unobtrusiveness. It is like a corn of wheat, which falls into the ground and dies, but presently it will spring up and alter the whole landscape. (John 12:24)"

You see a life devoted to Christ is simply that, being devoted to Christ and not a cause. When I devote my whole life to Christ and knowing Him and being know by Him, then and only then can I make Him known. That is what a life devoted to Christ looks like and then the causes just happen.

September of 2005 to June of 2007 I have worked with YWAM/Axiom New Haven. If you are wondering axiom means a self evident, indisputable truth... I have staffed two Schools of Christ DTS and two Forums. My passion has become Christ and my mission is to disciple a generation to reach the nations. I find myself truly alive while praying, while trying to just be a woman with my Lord, and while having conservations with twenty-something's about their journey with Christ. Words can not describe what goes on inside of me. It is a knowing that this is what I was created to do and when given the chance to do it I am worshiping my Father in Spirit and truth.

I have met some amazing people during that time. I realized a while back that I will be 40 in a few years and some of my closest friends will still be in their 20's. I love God's sense of humor. I must say I have learned a lot from them and been challenged!

I have also gotten to travel to Africa, where i met some more amazing people and got to "Love as Chist love His own in John 13:1-5 a dear prayer warrior name Exhilda. I also got to see Victoria Falls and bunji jump there. I went back to India. There are lots of stories I could tell and have told, but I think this blog is long enough.

I shared all of the above, because I am coming to the end of my time here in New Haven, a city I have come to love and the end of my time working with YWAM. It is a bitter sweet ending. I am most thankful for all that God has done in my life here and for all the amazing people I have gotten to meet along my journey from all over the world. Some who are still a part of my journey Home and will be for a long time.

As the journey HOME continues i will keep you posted.

Friday, June 29, 2007

God of Enough

God of Enough
He is the God of enough for my today!
As I have been seeking the Lord a bit about my future all i keep hearing Him say is, "I am the God of enough for today." I feel as though He keeps asking me, "Do you have a place to sleep and food to eat and water to drink and clothes to wear?" My reply is always, "Yes." Then He says, "What are you worried about, I am the God of enough for your today."
A simple life
"Live simple so others may simply live."
Three years ago when i was in Mexico I felt God call me to missions and a simple life.
He opened my eyes to see the simplicity of life and ever since i have not required much and have chosen to live as simply as possible.
Someone once said to me that my life was ideal, because I do missions work and God uses others to provide for my needs and I get to do a bunch of random things in a day and travel the world. That is all true, but it all comes with a price and letting go. You see I have to be ok with how my Father has chosen to take care of me and trust Him. I have to be ok with a bag of food from the soup kitchen if He has chosen to feed me that way for the week and I have to be ok with clothes from the Goodwill Store if He has chosen to clothe me that way. I have to be ok with living in community and with 17 people and at times share one bathroom with lots of girls. I have to trust that the money will be there to pay my bills, even if it is on the last day. I must say I have come to be ok with all the random ways He has chosen to provide and He always does provide. My life has not lacked and I have gotten to travel and meet lots of amazing people and see God work.
So, I guess my life is ideal and the cost is ok, because
He is the God of Enough.
He is the God who has paid the cost.
He is the God of Enough for my today.
How about you?

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Thinking about Hope

hope - a feeling that what is wanted is likely to happen; desire accompanied by expectation

the hope...

Hope is a fragile thread,
separating these few
rescued children from
the vast numbers
irreparably destroyed
by the sex industry. But
hope exists, nonetheless.
The few will become
the many, the many will
become the millions.
The children will dance,
not in response to the
customers demand, but
in the simple celebration
of freedom. -JFCI

hope is found in Psalm 27 1-3 written on a wall in a brothel in Thialand

hope is found written on a necklace worn by a man in line for a free bag of food at the soup kitchen.

hope is found in a smile on the face of a woman sitting in a wheel chair in New York City with a cup in her hand asking for money, because a stranger took time to ask her name and tell her it was a pretty name

hope is the thought that God is in control

hope is for all

as i prayed this morning and was overwhelmed by all that is going on in the world and in the lives of the people i know and all the change that is taking place in my life i thought of one thing i and we always have HOPE and it is in God, Father, Lord, Savior, and Holy Spirit


Friday, May 25, 2007

Letting Go

Letting Go

It is in midst of letting go i have hope to find Him and in finding Him I find myself.
A time of facing myself and finding myself
A time of letting go of myself in total abandonment to my God
In abandonment I find Freedom
The naked truth
Accepting His unconditional love for me
Accepting His grace and mercy
Accepting His love
Accepting I have to let go and in letting go I find Him and in Him I find myself.
So, I let go and trust

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Constant One


When no one else will stop or make time you stop
You are


When I was little and there was STUFF going on
He stopped for me


When I cried myself to sleep and cried out to Him
He stopped for me


When I asked Him into my heart
He stopped for me


When I made wrong choices
He stopped for me and forgave me


When I made right choices
He stopped for me and joyed with me


When I gave up and gave Him my life
He stopped for me


He always makes time for me
He always stops for me
He was and is and will always be


When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, "Son of David, have mercy on me!"
Jesus STOPPED and said, "Call him." Mark 10:47-49

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Tracking or Trekking?

Are you ready?
tracking or trekking
...check this out!
You Leave Your Mark On
Adventure and Expedition Inspiration
perfect day
Fall off the edge of the map
sour to new heights
Finding Your Way Isn't Always Easy
Are you an original?
believe in finding new ways
shift - FREEDOM
go deeper
Love Dreamers
a trusted new balance
life right out of you
in a whole new dimension
The view is endless. The moment, fleeting.

words i put together on some paper cause i like words! read it backwards and it sounds even better. think about it!


"Startled by the extravagant love of God, they do not require success, fame, wealth, or power to validate their worth." Brennan Manning
I read this quote in the book The Vow by Pete Greig. I really liked it, but I was also convicted a bit. I was convicted because more often then not I look to people or work to validate my worth. At times I have been "startled by the extravagant love of God" and find my worth validated by Him. I want to live from the place where my worth comes form being loved by God and loving Him. Being know by Him and knowing Him. Intimately!
Who or what validates your worth?

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

about a girl

about a girl
a girl can be one way on the outside,
and another way on the inside
but, i think it's what's underneath that
really counts
a sense of place
life on a distant edge
have you met life today?
call her by name
may promote feelings
burning curiosity
hope, triumph, and the miracle
specially designed
follow your heart
she's not just my daughter
she's my hero
finally finding a sport she likes:
valuing the invaluable
get involved
share moments share life
peace-loving people
adversity is not an adequate deterrent
for life
the transformation revolution

These are words i cut out of magazines and put together. l love words and the power they have.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

A way of life!

"Let this be thy whole endeavor, this thy prayer, this thy desire, that thou mayest be stripped of all selfishness and with entire simplicity follow Jesus only."
-Thomas A. Kempis

Wednesday, March 7, 2007



Remember when
A cup was
A cup was
A cup was
Poured Out
A cup was
Remember when
A bread was
A bread was
A bread was
Given that is it Given and
Remember when
A Son was
A Son was
A Son was
A Son's Blood was
Poured Out
A Son's Blood was
Remember when
A Son's Body was
A Son's Body was
A Son's Life was
Given that is it Given and
Remember when

I wrote this during a time of worship one morning. We were challenged to worship God by drawing or writing. This was the result of my worship to Him.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Oawald Chambers Thought

I usually read a little book by Oswald Chambers each day. His perspective on Christ and living life always kicks my butt.
Here are a few of his thoughts that i really like and have already been thinking about. I hope you enjoy them and are challenged by them.

"According to Jesus Christ, he is called to be the "doormat" of other men; their spiritual leader, but never their superior."

"This is Paul's idea of service- 'I will spend myself to the last ebb for you; you may give me praise or give me blame, it will make no difference.' "

"If we are devoted to the cause of humanity, we shall soon be crushed and brokenhearted, for we shall often meet with more ingratitude from men than we would from a dog; but if our motive is love to God, no ingratitude can hinder us from serving our fellow men."

"When we realize that Jesus Christ has served us to the end of our meanness, our selfishness, and sin, nothing that we meet with from others can exhaust our determination to serve men for His sake."

Thursday, February 22, 2007


Anima Christi

Soul of Christ, sanctify me.
Body of Christ, save me.
Blood of Christ, inebriate me.
Water from the side of Christ, wash me.
Passion of Christ, strengthen me.
O good Jesus, hear me.
Within Thy wounds hide me.
Suffer me not to be separated from Thee.
From the malignant enemy defend me.
In the hour of my death, call me,
And bid me come to Thee.
That, with Thy Saints, I may praise Thee
Forever and ever. Amen

I got this from a Catholic book on Mass.
Hope you enjoy it.